Week 5

BATS STAND TALL TO CLAIM FIRST-EVER WINNERS MEDALS!

THE Racing Bats stood tall and proud as they watched-on and saw their promotion guaranteed by Spartak Mojo beating The Bandits.

The night could not have got off to a better start for both Bats and Mojo alike. Never before have the arch rivals been so close in ambition and achievement.

But in stark comparison start-of-season favourites the Bandits threw away their promotion opportunity by losing to Dads Army in a shock defeat. Bandit players and fans were jointly ejected from the Wandle Stadium as seats were ripped up and the gentile family occasion was marred by scenes of violence.

The Bandits were left to rely on a Bats victory to guarantee their promotion but the in-form side merely waltzed onto the pitch without a care in the world and strutted their stuff with brilliant white shirts and arrogant attitudes on display.

Mojo - still reeling from recent defeats against their derby rivals - looked an altogether different outfit, with determination set fiercely in their eyes and not a smile between them. But had the sauntering Bats spotted this change in stature? Had they boll##ks - they were already celebrating as the typically over optimistic fanatic crowd cheered “that’s why we’re champions, that’s why we’re champions.”

The scene was set and the whistle blew as a rabid Mojo threw everything they had at the opposing team with a never-before-seen vicious onslaught. Half-time came and went before the Bats finally awoke from their dream world to find a ravaged pitch, dishevelled comrades and a two goal deficit. All that could be done was to watch in despair as the the team managed to hold their back line and step off the field with their crowning moment suddenly in real jeopardy.

The crowd had fallen silent and suddenly the weight of despair began to descend on the Racing Bats. Were their shoulders broad enough to take such pressure? Had they thrown away their title dream? If the Managers aggression was anything to go by then there was some fight left in the team. His ferocious tirade of abuse at the players certainly spurred the frustrated and impatient crowd into action with outbreaks of jeers and flair throwing. A solemn Bats team were marched single file back onto the field. No emotion, no murmur of expectation with all in anticipation as to which team had turned up......The Champions or The Pompous Fairy Fudgepackers?!

The match against PSV Wandsworth was well into the first half when the Bats finally settled. The signs of redemption came with a goal from Duncan Hep but a sloppy equaliser from PSV soon after was enough to finally kick-start the Bats! And kick start it they did. Out of the blocks at full throttle and a more pressing team tore apart the opposition. Goals followed goals as every outfield player took it in turn to chisel their name onto the scoresheet. Dunco, Damo, Dimo and finally The Cat with a lightening turn, break away and a delightful right foot.

5 -1 at the final whistle saw the exhausted Bats fall to their knees. The Bandits nowhere to be seen, Spartak Mojo already down the pub celebrating an unexpected promotion and The Mighty Racing Bats crowned as Champions. The Queen anthem chorused throughout the stadium with the Bats jubilant but ready for their promotion debrief and well-earned cocktails.

Monday night football never had so many thrills, spills and violence. All expectations are on next season with the premiership awaiting both Bats and Mojo. All bets are on with a variety of odds available but early indications on Mojo for mid table and the Racing Bats in another push for silverware and premier title.


PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---10-------6-------6----------1----------0------------0
T.Hodgson------0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0-------0-----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn-------6-------1-------3----------5----------1-------------0
A.Hepburn-------6-------3-------1---------4-----------1-------------0
D.Hepburn-------9-------4-------1---------1-----------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------10------11-------3----------0-----------0------------0