PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---16--------8-------4-----------1---------0---------------2
A.Hodgson-------1-------0-------1-----------0---------0---------------0
T.Hodgson-------0-------0-------0-----------0---------0--------------0
S.McCartney-----15------4-------3-----------4---------0--------------0
R.Felgate--------16------11-------5-----------0---------0--------------0
J.Hepburn-------15-------4-------5-----------4--------1---------------0
A.Hepburn-------13-------6-------5----------6---------1--------------0
D.Hepburn-------15-------2-------4----------4---------0---------------1
D. Stalley---------13-------13------5----------0---------0--------------0
Tuesday, 16 December 2008
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
Racing Bats 8/12/08
INJURED PLAYERS, INJURED PRIDE AND INJURED SEASON
Racing Bats 1 Spartak Mojo 1
Racing Bats 2 Dad's Army 3
THE Bats dream of a successful first season came to a bitter end on Monday night as they came away with a hard-fought draw against arch rivals Spartak Mojo and lost to the pathetic collection of men who make up Dad’s Army.
And to add injury to insult joint top scorer Rob Felgate spent most of the night in Tooting A+E with damage to his medial cartilage meniscus and possibly cruciate ligament as well. The club’s physios are carrying out tests but the target man will almost certainly be out for the rest of the season and possibly much of the next campaign, and maybe even the rest of his career. An anonymous player commented: “Poor Rob but as long as we still have Damo he shouldn’t be missed that much.”
Felgate twisted his knee chasing the ball after Andy Hep – in his famous lazy fashion – had lost possession. He was carried from the pitch and sat on the sidelines wearing a pair of rather fetching girl’s tracksuit bottoms while he waited for a lift to hospital. The press caught up with Rob during his four hour wait in A + E but all he would say was: “I don’t blame Andy for my injury but I fully expect the rest of the team and the fans to.”
Left footed Andy Hep, when he wasn’t lazily defending, stepped up his game again to power home two cracking right-footed shots with Damo scoring the third of the night with a beautifully placed curled effort which gave the keeper no chance. With Rob's injury Damo will almost certainly go on to become Racing Bat's first ever top scorer... an accolade that is not to be taken lightly.
Duncan endured another nightmarish experience between the sticks taking his record to nine goals conceded in two matches. After the game he ranted: “Well that’s the last time I go in goal. I used to be good, no seriously I did. I blame Andy!”
With Dima ill with the flu and Rob crippled on the sidelines it gave the rest of the team the chance of a full-match run-out. Despite Samsonite looking like he was ready to die after a few minutes in the last few weeks, the ‘alleged’ gym work has obviously been paying off and he was able to keep up with the pace and put in a solid performance.
On top of all the other injury and illness problems facing the team our fearless leader The Cat, apparently feeling left out, decided to throw himself into the path of a stray elbow – causing him a nasty little cut under the eye and hopefully some bruising that will have people asking: “Is Becky beating you again James? Should we call social services?”
Al in all it was a pretty grim week for the Bats but with one match to go in the season they will surely strive to ‘get their shit together’ and look to a successful next campaign.
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---15--------7-------4-----------0---------0---------------2
A.Hodgson-------1-------0-------1-----------0---------0---------------0
T.Hodgson-------0-------0-------0-----------0---------0--------------0
S.McCartney-----13------3-------3-----------4---------0--------------0
R.Felgate--------16------11-------5-----------0---------0--------------0
J.Hepburn-------13-------3-------5-----------4--------1---------------0
A.Hepburn-------12-------5-------5----------5---------1--------------0
D.Hepburn-------13-------2-------2----------4---------0---------------0
D. Stalley---------11-------12------4----------0---------0--------------0
Racing Bats 1 Spartak Mojo 1
Racing Bats 2 Dad's Army 3
THE Bats dream of a successful first season came to a bitter end on Monday night as they came away with a hard-fought draw against arch rivals Spartak Mojo and lost to the pathetic collection of men who make up Dad’s Army.
And to add injury to insult joint top scorer Rob Felgate spent most of the night in Tooting A+E with damage to his medial cartilage meniscus and possibly cruciate ligament as well. The club’s physios are carrying out tests but the target man will almost certainly be out for the rest of the season and possibly much of the next campaign, and maybe even the rest of his career. An anonymous player commented: “Poor Rob but as long as we still have Damo he shouldn’t be missed that much.”
Felgate twisted his knee chasing the ball after Andy Hep – in his famous lazy fashion – had lost possession. He was carried from the pitch and sat on the sidelines wearing a pair of rather fetching girl’s tracksuit bottoms while he waited for a lift to hospital. The press caught up with Rob during his four hour wait in A + E but all he would say was: “I don’t blame Andy for my injury but I fully expect the rest of the team and the fans to.”
Left footed Andy Hep, when he wasn’t lazily defending, stepped up his game again to power home two cracking right-footed shots with Damo scoring the third of the night with a beautifully placed curled effort which gave the keeper no chance. With Rob's injury Damo will almost certainly go on to become Racing Bat's first ever top scorer... an accolade that is not to be taken lightly.
Duncan endured another nightmarish experience between the sticks taking his record to nine goals conceded in two matches. After the game he ranted: “Well that’s the last time I go in goal. I used to be good, no seriously I did. I blame Andy!”
With Dima ill with the flu and Rob crippled on the sidelines it gave the rest of the team the chance of a full-match run-out. Despite Samsonite looking like he was ready to die after a few minutes in the last few weeks, the ‘alleged’ gym work has obviously been paying off and he was able to keep up with the pace and put in a solid performance.
On top of all the other injury and illness problems facing the team our fearless leader The Cat, apparently feeling left out, decided to throw himself into the path of a stray elbow – causing him a nasty little cut under the eye and hopefully some bruising that will have people asking: “Is Becky beating you again James? Should we call social services?”
Al in all it was a pretty grim week for the Bats but with one match to go in the season they will surely strive to ‘get their shit together’ and look to a successful next campaign.
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---15--------7-------4-----------0---------0---------------2
A.Hodgson-------1-------0-------1-----------0---------0---------------0
T.Hodgson-------0-------0-------0-----------0---------0--------------0
S.McCartney-----13------3-------3-----------4---------0--------------0
R.Felgate--------16------11-------5-----------0---------0--------------0
J.Hepburn-------13-------3-------5-----------4--------1---------------0
A.Hepburn-------12-------5-------5----------5---------1--------------0
D.Hepburn-------13-------2-------2----------4---------0---------------0
D. Stalley---------11-------12------4----------0---------0--------------0
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
Racing Bats 1/12/08
THE START OF A NEW ERA… Well almost
RACING BATS 3 VIDEO CALI 2
RACING BATS 2 SABRETOOTH 3
‘TWAS a cold December day when a vicious chill rattled the bones of people everywhere and sensible men stayed away from activities involving the wearing of shorts. But one group of lads took a deep breath of the crisp winter’s air and descended on the Wandsworth Arena under fresh leadership - and thus a new era was born. Up went the chant… “O Captain! My Captain!” as the portly man known only as ‘The Cat’ led out his team with one objection in mind… taking six points from two of the front-running opponents.
But alas it was not to be and the Racing Bats – although finally showing glimpses of their full and undeniable potential – had to settle for a hard-fought win and an unlucky defeat as they moved up to joint third in the table – with the dream of silverware still alive.
The enchanted night saw a revitalised looking Ando Hep prove that, without the anchor of captaincy dragging him down (and just the weight of that ‘Lesbian Fro’ holding him back), he was able to actually exert some effort and score two, no one, no two, no it was definitely one well-taken goal. In an in-game rant to the ref the ex-captain could be heard to say: “That f***ing second f***ing goal crossed the f***ing line ref you f***ing blind t***er!”
Also on offer to the scores of loyal Bat’s fans, who travel every week to watch their heroes play, was a contender for Goal-of-the-Season and a dead-cert for Goal-of-his-Life by none other than James ‘The Cat’ Hepburn ©.
Having silkily turned the defender down the left-flank with a drop-of-the-shoulder, The Cat unleashed hell with his faithful left foot and in true Roy of the Rovers style almost left a gaping hole in the keeper’s net. However suggestions of a new nickname of Captain Marvel were laughed off by everyone but The Cat himself.
As we approach the end of the Bat’s first ever season the race for top goalscorer is really hotting-up with out-of-form Rob and in-form Damo both on 11 goals thus far. The difference being that Damo has got his in nine appearances whereas Rob has taken 15. Stalley is the bookie’s favourite, and could have been further ahead if it weren't for Sabretooth's keeper who stopped a barrage of net-destined shots. But Rob still has the potential to cause an upset and is also in the race for top assister – level at the top on five with The Cat.
On a more sour note reports are suggesting that one of the teams members spent a night at her Majesty’s pleasure on the weekend. Reports are unconfirmed and no more details are available after the club successfully applied to the High Court for a media blackout injunction.
Once again the Bats may have only come away with three points but still put in two of the most convincing performances of the season and can't be ruled out of a possible surge to a second place finish.
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---15--------7-------4-----------0---------0---------------2
A.Hodgson-------1-------0-------1-----------0---------0---------------0
T.Hodgson-------0-------0-------0-----------0---------0--------------0
S.McCartney-----11-------3-------3-----------4----------0--------------0
R.Felgate--------15------11-------5-----------0---------0--------------0
J.Hepburn-------12-------3-------5-----------3--------1---------------0
A.Hepburn-------10-------3--------4----------5---------1--------------0
D.Hepburn-------12-------2--------2----------3---------0---------------0
D. Stalley---------9-------11--------4----------0---------0--------------0
RACING BATS 3 VIDEO CALI 2
RACING BATS 2 SABRETOOTH 3
‘TWAS a cold December day when a vicious chill rattled the bones of people everywhere and sensible men stayed away from activities involving the wearing of shorts. But one group of lads took a deep breath of the crisp winter’s air and descended on the Wandsworth Arena under fresh leadership - and thus a new era was born. Up went the chant… “O Captain! My Captain!” as the portly man known only as ‘The Cat’ led out his team with one objection in mind… taking six points from two of the front-running opponents.
But alas it was not to be and the Racing Bats – although finally showing glimpses of their full and undeniable potential – had to settle for a hard-fought win and an unlucky defeat as they moved up to joint third in the table – with the dream of silverware still alive.
The enchanted night saw a revitalised looking Ando Hep prove that, without the anchor of captaincy dragging him down (and just the weight of that ‘Lesbian Fro’ holding him back), he was able to actually exert some effort and score two, no one, no two, no it was definitely one well-taken goal. In an in-game rant to the ref the ex-captain could be heard to say: “That f***ing second f***ing goal crossed the f***ing line ref you f***ing blind t***er!”
Also on offer to the scores of loyal Bat’s fans, who travel every week to watch their heroes play, was a contender for Goal-of-the-Season and a dead-cert for Goal-of-his-Life by none other than James ‘The Cat’ Hepburn ©.
Having silkily turned the defender down the left-flank with a drop-of-the-shoulder, The Cat unleashed hell with his faithful left foot and in true Roy of the Rovers style almost left a gaping hole in the keeper’s net. However suggestions of a new nickname of Captain Marvel were laughed off by everyone but The Cat himself.
As we approach the end of the Bat’s first ever season the race for top goalscorer is really hotting-up with out-of-form Rob and in-form Damo both on 11 goals thus far. The difference being that Damo has got his in nine appearances whereas Rob has taken 15. Stalley is the bookie’s favourite, and could have been further ahead if it weren't for Sabretooth's keeper who stopped a barrage of net-destined shots. But Rob still has the potential to cause an upset and is also in the race for top assister – level at the top on five with The Cat.
On a more sour note reports are suggesting that one of the teams members spent a night at her Majesty’s pleasure on the weekend. Reports are unconfirmed and no more details are available after the club successfully applied to the High Court for a media blackout injunction.
Once again the Bats may have only come away with three points but still put in two of the most convincing performances of the season and can't be ruled out of a possible surge to a second place finish.
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---15--------7-------4-----------0---------0---------------2
A.Hodgson-------1-------0-------1-----------0---------0---------------0
T.Hodgson-------0-------0-------0-----------0---------0--------------0
S.McCartney-----11-------3-------3-----------4----------0--------------0
R.Felgate--------15------11-------5-----------0---------0--------------0
J.Hepburn-------12-------3-------5-----------3--------1---------------0
A.Hepburn-------10-------3--------4----------5---------1--------------0
D.Hepburn-------12-------2--------2----------3---------0---------------0
D. Stalley---------9-------11--------4----------0---------0--------------0
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