Racing Bats 24/11/08

CROWD TROUBLE AS BATS DELIGHT & DELUDE

THE Bats went into week seven brimming with confidence and a sparkle not seen since the last ban on Sunday drinking. The team had one notable and continued absentee in Mr. Hodgson Snr with doubts now being cast over the centre backs career. All our hopes and thoughts go out to Timothy and the resurrection of his days as a major player.

Dads Army undertook their typical tedious tactical display, which the Bats deciphered quickly and set about undoing. It was not long before they struck and drew first blood. The first strike coming from Andy Hep going straight for the jugular with fatal effects. Again a confident team passed well and moved quickly often leaving the D’Army in disarray. Solid defending backed up the front line and it was not long before a 2nd and 3rd goal followed and the game was put well out of reach from the opposition.

Hepburn Snr and now more appropriately named ‘the Cat’ collected his first clean sheet of the season. Athletic pouncing, prancing and superb shot stopping reactions now install him as a prime contender for the No. 1 spot. The keeper also being responsible for two fine assists and constantly keeping his boyz vocally aware of the fast paced game. Although quoted post match as saying ‘he prefers the ruff and tumble of outfield play’ he has added another dynamic to this ever more resourceful team.

In comparison to the first match the second display had undertones of arrogance followed very quickly by shock and what can only be described as hapless superciliousness. Rather like a proud Stag stood defiant in the Scottish highlands after an over zealous rutting season, but unbeknown to the Stag he has 5 rifle sights trained on his ass ready to kill. And kill they did!

In the space of two minutes the Bats were three nil down. The keeper later announced he had given up after the first goal. However it was not until the slow motion replay that a story unfolded of perilous infighting and disdain that certain team members are inflicting on others. The self proclaimed Captain Ando was quite clearly seen and heard by members of the crowd bating the keeper and destroying his soul. From the back to the front the team collapsed. 5 – 0 down at half time. Two substitutions brought some life and respect to the second half, although Dynamo Dimo was so ill he failed to notice he had been substituted and Samsonite taken off due to shock. Four goal Felgate and the Self proclaimed Captain Ando took the field with some hopes of revival. But the crowd told a different story with drawn out deathly silences followed by booing everyone time Ando touched the ball. As the match entered the final minutes one goal was all that could be salvaged.

To end an indifferent night the final story of the day coming from the fans as they roared out ‘Are you Gallas in disguise?’. Ando seemed not to care as he petulantly left the pitch. A tunnel fracas, flare throwing and damage to the Wandle Stadium led to an emergency club statement. Soon after and live from the press office in GJ’s we were left with no misunderstanding that the Club are taking the power back by stripping him of his captaincy and his porno collection. Rumours are rife of an appointment in the coming weeks but the Club stated they will take their time and a decision will be made in true x-factor style (please note new voting system).

Once again a memorable evening for all but real signs the foundations are getting stronger and stronger.


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Racing Bats Week 6 - 17/11/08

News in brief:

RACING BATS REVIVAL
The Racing Bats responded to calls from senior management and fans and demolished Spartak Mojo with a truly bold and defiant display. Four Goal Hero Damo linked well during his second start of the campaign. Not since Four Goal Felgate have the Bats experienced such striking prowess. An outstanding overall team performance excites all of positive things to come. The Bats second display of the evening was marred by fatigue and adrenaline burn out from their Mojo Victory. Nuff said.



PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---13--------6-------3-----------0---------0---------------2
A.Hodgson-------1-------0-------1-----------0---------0---------------0
T.Hodgson-------0-------0-------0-----------0---------0--------------0
S.McCartney-----10-------3-------3-----------3----------0--------------0
R.Felgate--------13------11-------5-----------0---------0--------------0
J.Hepburn-------11-------2-------5-----------2--------1---------------0
A.Hepburn-------8-------2--------3----------5---------1--------------0
D.Hepburn-------10-------2--------2----------3---------0---------------0
D. Stalley---------7-------9--------3----------0---------0--------------0