A Pounce, a Ponce and a Prat
....just about somes up the Bats evening.
HOW the mighty have fallen! Bats everywhere will be extremely disappointed by last nights performance against the existing champions Neos.
The disappointment is not due to the result, this was bad enough and did not help. But really due to the teams attitude and ability to self destruct at the blow of a whistle. A whistle that was blown in their favour!!! The fans stood dumbstruck as Ando, instead of taking the quick kick for the foul committed, verbally lashed out at the referee and undid the first five minutes of near perfect, perhaps even genius playmaking.
The match was wrought with pressure from the constant tabloid and media build up but all signs of this were disregarded when the Bats took the field. Their usual swagger and domineering air of confidence was seen loud and proud. Those first five minutes we were treated to the ball moving effortlessly between the Bats players. It was the type of class we have come to expect and delight in but why is it that when it looks to good to be true it normally is with the Racing Bats. Those five minutes did not reward a goal but surely every second thereafter would have troubled Neos into making a mistake and then a goal mouth blunder would have surely followed. They were within touching distance of the game being remembered for total team football not often seen in the beautiful game.
Alas Ando’s verbal ref battering unnerved the obvious candidates and slowly but oh so very surely Dynamo Dimo and Dunc the Drunk lost their cool. Some will say they were never that cool in the first place but that argument is not for today. The referee was his usual predictable self and in his vain attempts to promote free flowing football he allowed the game and the tackling to spiral out of control. Once again a referee causes so much controversy in such a high pressured situation. Displaying characteristics of Tom Henning Ovrebo and his dire Chelsea vs Barca performance last week he cracked, and cracked some more, and then blatantly favoured Neos. It’s safe to say that not one of the Bats players stepped up to state they were fully behind Ando’s initial reaction and albeit Dunco’s and Dimo’s following reactions. Was it a lesson learnt from Drogba, Terry and Ovrebo? A lesson learnt maybe but we fear quickly forgotten.
The Racing Bats players and supporters were calling it an absolute disgrace. A disgrace it was but does the blame lie solely with the dire refereeing display? No it lies with the attitude and temperament of the Bats squad. They had the opportunity to knuckle down and grind out the performance of their lives and come away from the match as potential champions and deserved winners, but instead chose the opposite. To be fair to the Bats the Neo team tried everything to rile them, foul after foul after foul with no refereeing intervention was soon replied to and you guessed it by yet more fouls, but this time from the Bats.
STOP PRESS Ando ‘Hero’ Hep hits first hat trick.
The Neo’s match was an unfortunate turn of results as earlier on in the evening Ando quite sublimely hit his first Bats hat trick. His outfield holding and tangle footed slow motion style bewitched the opposition and the keeper was left flailing on those three exquisite occasions. The match ball would have been his but it’s actually Dimos so it is expected that they may arm wrestle for it later. Other than that some spectacular defending and strong timely tackling from Dunco with the odd leap of faith from the evening’s keeper The Cat would have led you to believe that it should have been a successful night in the Wandle Stadium! There are two ongoing injury concerns from the match; the first was rather serious and committed by the lad better known as the Brazilian from the Neos team as he tried to destroy Damos career! How many times can this part man, part machine return from a career threatening injury?! Once again he has reported back to light training until the results of a scan come through. And Samsonite’s dislocated knuckle is still a bit floppy.
The season goes on but can the Bats retain runner up spot for a consecutive season? Lets hope so as there commitment can not be doubted just their senses, words and tackle timing.
Crowd Chants:
Are you Ovrebo in Disguise..?
The Referees a Wank#r
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---8------2-------8----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----6------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------6-------1-------0----------2---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------2------3-------0----------6---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------8-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------8------9------1-----------0---------0-------------0
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
Friday, 8 May 2009
Week 3 - Spring/Summer 09
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---6------2-------5----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----4------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------6-------1-------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------0------0-------0----------6---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------6-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------6------9------1-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Vorobtsova---6------2-------5----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----4------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------6-------1-------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------0------0-------0----------6---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------6-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------6------9------1-----------0---------0-------------0
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
Week 2 - Spring/Summer 09
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---4------1-------2----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----2------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------4-------1-------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------0------0-------0----------4---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------4-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------4------7------1-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Vorobtsova---4------1-------2----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----2------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------4-------1-------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------0------0-------0----------4---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------4-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------4------7------1-----------0---------0-------------0
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
Week 10 - End of season
Final stats table:
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---18------14-------12----------1----------0------------1
T.Hodgson------0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0-------0-------0-----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------11-------4-------3----------9----------1-------------0
A.Hepburn------8--------3-------1----------10---------2-------------0
D.Hepburn------18-------7------3-----------1----------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------19------23------4----------0---------0------------0
Rich-------------4-------1--------0----------0---------0-------------1
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---18------14-------12----------1----------0------------1
T.Hodgson------0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0-------0-------0-----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------11-------4-------3----------9----------1-------------0
A.Hepburn------8--------3-------1----------10---------2-------------0
D.Hepburn------18-------7------3-----------1----------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------19------23------4----------0---------0------------0
Rich-------------4-------1--------0----------0---------0-------------1
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
Week 9
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---16------13-------9----------1----------0------------1
T.Hodgson------0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0-------0-----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn-------9-------2-------3----------9----------1-------------0
A.Hepburn-------8-------3-------1----------8----------2-------------0
D.Hepburn-------16-------5------2----------1----------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------17------19-------1----------0---------0------------0
Rich-------------4-------1--------0----------0---------0-------------1
D.Vorobtsova---16------13-------9----------1----------0------------1
T.Hodgson------0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0-------0-----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn-------9-------2-------3----------9----------1-------------0
A.Hepburn-------8-------3-------1----------8----------2-------------0
D.Hepburn-------16-------5------2----------1----------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------17------19-------1----------0---------0------------0
Rich-------------4-------1--------0----------0---------0-------------1
Monday, 9 March 2009
Week 7
BATS SHOW THAT THEY'RE NO PUSHOVER IN QUEST FOR PREMIERSHIP TITLE...
FURTHER to last weeks inaugural premiership debacle all team members were present and correct after strict disciplining by team officials and a revised transport strategy was put in place.
The strategy relied upon a Racing Bats board meeting with the local Council followed with further lobbying enabling the Bat Bus to travel in Wandsworth bus lanes. Mayor Boris became entangled in the argument as Borough politics took on the London Authority! The Mayor was quoted to say “such excellence in sporting fair play cannot be hampered by London’s transport network and therefore this unprecedented move will allow this team of role models freedom on the Borough of Wandsworth” Lucky enough when that whistle blows all politics becomes unimportant and the game comes to the forefront.
So to our first match which saw the Bats take on the reigning Premier League Champions; Neopolitans! The Bats looked confident and eager to play, one could have mistaken it for a touch of laziness but as the whistle blew the match sparked into life. Straight away it was obvious another Premier League team were caught off guard by this trailblazing tactical machine. One touch football accompanied by calm defensive positioning held Neo at bay. Neo were offered only one opportunity in the game which they took with an exceptional shot and goal. Alas they were already three-nil down and that one goal was not going to do the trick. The Bats bided their time and took every opportunity to strike as the Neo defence crumbled. Five Goals and yet another hat trick from Damo left the Premier League Officials, Crowds and Opposition unable to keep up with the pace of play. So much so and despite awarding five goals during the game the referee only notched up four to the Bats on his match card. An official inquiry is underway.
Wandsworth Stanley looked on in horror as they attempted to psyche themselves up for the next fixture. Alas and, despite the Bats back-to-back matches which pushed fitness levels to the limit, Stanley were no match for them. A gruelling physical battle left its mark on Stanley with a couple of injuries and likewise a sending off for the Ukrainian Super Star, Dimo. Not quite in line with club fair play and discipline principles but can the giant of man help it if he always gets to the ball first with those commanding size 16’s?! Alas the official should have been more lenient or less blind, who's to say? A Bat one - nil lead was brought level before half time but then the Bats stretched their legs and banged in a couple of beauties - one a deflection marking Duncan Hep's fifth of the campaign!
Another victory and a superior goal difference puts the Racing Bats at the top of table. From the depths of the A3 and East Hill jams to the top flight of the premiership in just 2 weeks and 3 games....expectation is high at the Wandle!
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---12------11-------8----------1----------0------------1
T.Hodgson------0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0-------0-----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn-------8-------2-------3----------8----------1-------------0
A.Hepburn-------7-------3-------1----------6-----------1-------------0
D.Hepburn-------12-------5-------1---------1-----------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------13------15-------0----------0-----------0------------0
FURTHER to last weeks inaugural premiership debacle all team members were present and correct after strict disciplining by team officials and a revised transport strategy was put in place.
The strategy relied upon a Racing Bats board meeting with the local Council followed with further lobbying enabling the Bat Bus to travel in Wandsworth bus lanes. Mayor Boris became entangled in the argument as Borough politics took on the London Authority! The Mayor was quoted to say “such excellence in sporting fair play cannot be hampered by London’s transport network and therefore this unprecedented move will allow this team of role models freedom on the Borough of Wandsworth” Lucky enough when that whistle blows all politics becomes unimportant and the game comes to the forefront.
So to our first match which saw the Bats take on the reigning Premier League Champions; Neopolitans! The Bats looked confident and eager to play, one could have mistaken it for a touch of laziness but as the whistle blew the match sparked into life. Straight away it was obvious another Premier League team were caught off guard by this trailblazing tactical machine. One touch football accompanied by calm defensive positioning held Neo at bay. Neo were offered only one opportunity in the game which they took with an exceptional shot and goal. Alas they were already three-nil down and that one goal was not going to do the trick. The Bats bided their time and took every opportunity to strike as the Neo defence crumbled. Five Goals and yet another hat trick from Damo left the Premier League Officials, Crowds and Opposition unable to keep up with the pace of play. So much so and despite awarding five goals during the game the referee only notched up four to the Bats on his match card. An official inquiry is underway.
Wandsworth Stanley looked on in horror as they attempted to psyche themselves up for the next fixture. Alas and, despite the Bats back-to-back matches which pushed fitness levels to the limit, Stanley were no match for them. A gruelling physical battle left its mark on Stanley with a couple of injuries and likewise a sending off for the Ukrainian Super Star, Dimo. Not quite in line with club fair play and discipline principles but can the giant of man help it if he always gets to the ball first with those commanding size 16’s?! Alas the official should have been more lenient or less blind, who's to say? A Bat one - nil lead was brought level before half time but then the Bats stretched their legs and banged in a couple of beauties - one a deflection marking Duncan Hep's fifth of the campaign!
Another victory and a superior goal difference puts the Racing Bats at the top of table. From the depths of the A3 and East Hill jams to the top flight of the premiership in just 2 weeks and 3 games....expectation is high at the Wandle!
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---12------11-------8----------1----------0------------1
T.Hodgson------0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----0-------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0-------0-----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn-------8-------2-------3----------8----------1-------------0
A.Hepburn-------7-------3-------1----------6-----------1-------------0
D.Hepburn-------12-------5-------1---------1-----------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------13------15-------0----------0-----------0------------0
Week 6
Roadwork’s Jam Bat's Premiership Debut...
THE founding member, Captain and Player Manager was the only Bat ready to go last night at the Wandle Stadium.
The team coach had been held up on East Hill by road works and the lonely portly figure of The Cat stood unfretted willing to play rush goalie and have a pop at Mojo alone. A full squad of Mojo players lined up taunting the Cat but he stood strong, chomping at the bit and heard screaming “I’ll take you all down with me you ...#$%..!”
The Bats finally arrived but despite much protest the referee called the match in favour in Mojo. The arch rivals now archer than ever agreed to play the final minutes of the time allotment in a so called friendly that would not count to the league, within seconds the friendly became a Test and the Bats set about toying with their foe and beating them soundly. They swore to avenge the loss that was never a loss and the animosity between teams and official was at boiling point. The Bats team were luckily without their midfield maestro mouth of the south Ando as rumours of Swiss clinics persisted...some tabloid press even insinuating this as a cover up with evidence proving he was skiing like gimp whilst drinking himself and Sir Collo the Great under the table most nights! No doubt the rumours are not far from the truth and the estranged maverick Sir Collo will tell all...
Anyway replacing Ando was the Trickster ‘Tricky Dicky’ Richard Moran the latest signing to the illustrious Bats camp. Ando was not missed as Tricky slotted into the set up during the Mojo warm up test.
The second match of the evening enabled the Bats to really get on with their first season in the Premier League. The gentle Mojo warm up enabled a confident and impatient team enough edginess to really go for it. Little did the seasoned opposition realise that the promoted newbys would be so hardened, and from there on in the onslaught began...
THE founding member, Captain and Player Manager was the only Bat ready to go last night at the Wandle Stadium.
The team coach had been held up on East Hill by road works and the lonely portly figure of The Cat stood unfretted willing to play rush goalie and have a pop at Mojo alone. A full squad of Mojo players lined up taunting the Cat but he stood strong, chomping at the bit and heard screaming “I’ll take you all down with me you ...#$%..!”
The Bats finally arrived but despite much protest the referee called the match in favour in Mojo. The arch rivals now archer than ever agreed to play the final minutes of the time allotment in a so called friendly that would not count to the league, within seconds the friendly became a Test and the Bats set about toying with their foe and beating them soundly. They swore to avenge the loss that was never a loss and the animosity between teams and official was at boiling point. The Bats team were luckily without their midfield maestro mouth of the south Ando as rumours of Swiss clinics persisted...some tabloid press even insinuating this as a cover up with evidence proving he was skiing like gimp whilst drinking himself and Sir Collo the Great under the table most nights! No doubt the rumours are not far from the truth and the estranged maverick Sir Collo will tell all...
Anyway replacing Ando was the Trickster ‘Tricky Dicky’ Richard Moran the latest signing to the illustrious Bats camp. Ando was not missed as Tricky slotted into the set up during the Mojo warm up test.
The second match of the evening enabled the Bats to really get on with their first season in the Premier League. The gentle Mojo warm up enabled a confident and impatient team enough edginess to really go for it. Little did the seasoned opposition realise that the promoted newbys would be so hardened, and from there on in the onslaught began...
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