AN UGLY START UNDERGOES A FACELIFT TO KEEPS BATS HIGH HOPES OF GLORY ALIVE.
Racing Bats 0 Neopolitans 4
Racing Bats 5 Broomwood Rovers 1
THE Bats looked out of their depth as they stepped back up to Premiership-standard football this week and were immediately walloped by old rivals Neos.
But in true form and with a ‘Never Say Die’ attitude they dusted themselves off, had a quick read of Razor Ruddock’s ‘An Idiot’s Guide to Defending’ and hit the pitch to show why they deserve a position in the top flight.
Strike partnership GaS (Gorely and Stalley) were back in form to get the Bats off the mark in style with two goals from Stalley and one from Gorely. A surging solo-effort from Slow-Mo Samsonite saw him drive a finish into the bottom corner to make it four and great vision from last year’s Players’ Player of the Season Tim Hodge found a darting run from Duncan Hep who rebounded his own shot for the fifth.
As luck would have it a win and a loss from every team in the division means that he Bats are sitting pretty in third and looking forward to build on a shaky start next week.
(Premier league stats in brackets)
PLAYER-------Apps----Goals-----Assists----GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---10(0)----0(0)------1(0)------0(0)---------0(0)-------0(0)
S.McCartney----8(2)-----2(1)------1(0)-------0(0)---------0(0)-------0(0)
J.Hepburn------10(2)-----2(0)-----0(0)-------0(0)--------0(0)--------0(0)
A.Hepburn------10(2)-----6(0)-----3(1)-------0(0)--------0(0)--------0(0)
D.Hepburn------10(2)-----1(1)-----2(0)-------0(0)--------0(0)--------0(0)
D. Stalley--------10(2)-----8(2)-----9(0)-------0(0)--------0(0)-------0(0)
J. Gorely--------10(2)-----8(1)-----7(0)--------0(0)-------0(0)--------0(0)
T. Hodgson------0(0)------0(0)-----3(2)-------10(2)-------5(0)-------0(0)
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
Thursday, 5 November 2009
Week 5 - end of season - Autumn/Winter 09
BATS TAKE TITLE IN RECORD-BREAKING SEASON...
BATS fans celebrated into the night as they watched their team cap off a record-breaking season with the First Division title and subsequent promotion to the dizzying heights of the prestigious Wandle Premier League.
The Racing Bats dominated the division with 25 points – 6 more than second-placed Bandits. A record 27 goals were tallied up between the eight Bats faithful and only 6 conceded – you guessed it, another record. And to top it all off Tim Hodgson battled to an outstanding, and again record-breaking, 5 clean sheets.
High points of the season include a deadlocked 8 goals each from strike partnership Gorely and Stalley (GaS) and some inspired appearances from Captain Andy Hep from the bench to net six goals. Duncan and James provided the no-holds-barred tackling and marking at the back and Dima contributed all he could – which amounted to just 1 assist – although he has denied any and all transfer rumours and claims that some newly-purchased Nikes will mean he is “up there with the best of them” in the scoring and assist tables next season.
But the main talking point of the season came from Sam McCartney. He became a fan-favourite and was dubbed ‘Slow-motion Samsonite’ amidst a media frenzy after breaking the record for the world’s slowest goal earlier in the season. Off the back of that it took him not once, not twice, but thrice almost identical efforts to score a tap-in from the edge of the box in a showdown with the opposition keeper. But score he did, and valuable he is as the club’s replica shirt sales went up 50 per cent this season with his name amongst the most popular choice for fans to wear on their back.
And for his outstanding efforts and game-winning saves this year's Players' Player of the Season trophy has been awarded to Tim Hodgson.
Bats chairman James Hepburn said: "According to his misses he's not known for his cleans sheets at home but for the Racing Bats he will always be Clean Sheet Hodgy and this seasons Player of the Season by unanimous decision, as voted for by the players.
"For his outstanding first season and goals a plenty James Gorley takes second place in the player of season voting, a star in the making and one to watch for next years award."
So all that remains before The Bats collect their trophies is to have an end-of-season blow-out and then get ready to face old rivals Neos in their first game back in the top flight.
Final player stat standings...
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---10------0-------1----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----8-------2-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------10-------2------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------10-------6------3----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------10-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------10-------8------9----------0---------0-------------0
J. Gorely--------10-------8------7-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0------3-----------10--------5-------------0
BATS fans celebrated into the night as they watched their team cap off a record-breaking season with the First Division title and subsequent promotion to the dizzying heights of the prestigious Wandle Premier League.
The Racing Bats dominated the division with 25 points – 6 more than second-placed Bandits. A record 27 goals were tallied up between the eight Bats faithful and only 6 conceded – you guessed it, another record. And to top it all off Tim Hodgson battled to an outstanding, and again record-breaking, 5 clean sheets.
High points of the season include a deadlocked 8 goals each from strike partnership Gorely and Stalley (GaS) and some inspired appearances from Captain Andy Hep from the bench to net six goals. Duncan and James provided the no-holds-barred tackling and marking at the back and Dima contributed all he could – which amounted to just 1 assist – although he has denied any and all transfer rumours and claims that some newly-purchased Nikes will mean he is “up there with the best of them” in the scoring and assist tables next season.
But the main talking point of the season came from Sam McCartney. He became a fan-favourite and was dubbed ‘Slow-motion Samsonite’ amidst a media frenzy after breaking the record for the world’s slowest goal earlier in the season. Off the back of that it took him not once, not twice, but thrice almost identical efforts to score a tap-in from the edge of the box in a showdown with the opposition keeper. But score he did, and valuable he is as the club’s replica shirt sales went up 50 per cent this season with his name amongst the most popular choice for fans to wear on their back.
And for his outstanding efforts and game-winning saves this year's Players' Player of the Season trophy has been awarded to Tim Hodgson.
Bats chairman James Hepburn said: "According to his misses he's not known for his cleans sheets at home but for the Racing Bats he will always be Clean Sheet Hodgy and this seasons Player of the Season by unanimous decision, as voted for by the players.
"For his outstanding first season and goals a plenty James Gorley takes second place in the player of season voting, a star in the making and one to watch for next years award."
So all that remains before The Bats collect their trophies is to have an end-of-season blow-out and then get ready to face old rivals Neos in their first game back in the top flight.
Final player stat standings...
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---10------0-------1----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----8-------2-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------10-------2------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------10-------6------3----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------10-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------10-------8------9----------0---------0-------------0
J. Gorely--------10-------8------7-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0------3-----------10--------5-------------0
Thursday, 29 October 2009
Week 4 - Autumn/Winter 09
BATS SAIL TO NEW HEIGHTS AS TWO MORE VICTORIES GUARANTEES SILVERWARE...
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---8------0-------1----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----6------2-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------8-------1------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------8-------6------3-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------8-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------8-------8------9-----------0---------0-------------0
J. Gorely--------8-------8------7-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0-----3-----------8---------3-------------0
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---8------0-------1----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----6------2-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------8-------1------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------8-------6------3-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------8-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------8-------8------9-----------0---------0-------------0
J. Gorely--------8-------8------7-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0-----3-----------8---------3-------------0
Monday, 26 October 2009
Week 3 - Autumn/Winter 09
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---4------0-------1----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----2------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------4-------1------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------4-------3------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------4-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------4-------7------5-----------0---------0--------------0
J. Gorely--------4-------6------5-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0-----3-----------4---------1-------------0
D.Vorobtsova---4------0-------1----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----2------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------4-------1------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------4-------3------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------4-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------4-------7------5-----------0---------0--------------0
J. Gorely--------4-------6------5-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0-----3-----------4---------1-------------0
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Week 2 - Autumn/Winter 09
Bats in Devestating Form to take Unbeaten Run to Four Games...
Racing Bats 4 Bandits 1
Racing Bats 3 Genesis Dons AFC 1
THE opposition have been left flapping once more as the Bats continue their near- perfect start to the season.
Back-to-back victories on Monday night saw the new-look Bats prolong their run of form to take them five points clear at the top of the table.
Goals all round – with the exception of Dima – and two more solid performances from Tim ‘The Wall’ Hodgson meant that the Bats dished out the drummings with ease.
Word is that new man James Gorely, as well as goalie Tim have sparked the interest of premiership teams but with growing hope among the club players, personnel and fans, the two have issued statements that they are “more than happy” where they are and intend to “help the Bats achieve premiership status and recognition”.
Fans are delighted with the stomping of Bandits – who many consider to be the Bats biggest competition. A victory over Flying Wedge next week will mean every opponent will have been beaten by the ever-improving Bats in the first half of the season and it would take some shocking appearances to leave the team without a hope of promotion.
The GaS strike partnership was in fine form again with four goals and three assists between them and defenders Duncan and James Hepburn also chipped-in with a pin-point finish and powerhouse effort respectively.
A major talking point from Monday’s games will be the performance of the referee who shockingly gave around 50 per cent of all decisions the wrong way. Speaking after the game, a spokesman for the Bat’s fan club, ranted at reporters while being bundled into the back of a police van. “What a fu**ing p*ss taker!”, he said. “That two bit motherless t**t counld’t get the decision right if his life depended on it! I might cut him!”
But the most astonishing revelation of the evening was that remarkably not one of the Bat’s players confronted the ref or swore at him (not so he could hear anyway) which keeps the side’s discipline down to a new club record of 0.
Talking exclusively to http://www.racingbats.blogspot.com/ new club captain Andy Hep – who came off the bench to make an immediate impact with a goal again - said: “You fight, you’re off. You give the ref backchat, you’re off. Simple as that.”
Speaking about his undefeated start as club talisman he added: “The team was in a bit of a state when I took over. No disrespect to The Cat but he was half the captain I am and the results are there to prove it.”
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---4------0-------1----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----2------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------4-------1------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------4-------3------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------4-------1------1-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------4-------7------5-----------0---------0--------------0
J. Gorely--------4-------5------5-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0-----3-----------4---------1-------------0
Racing Bats 4 Bandits 1
Racing Bats 3 Genesis Dons AFC 1
THE opposition have been left flapping once more as the Bats continue their near- perfect start to the season.
Back-to-back victories on Monday night saw the new-look Bats prolong their run of form to take them five points clear at the top of the table.
Goals all round – with the exception of Dima – and two more solid performances from Tim ‘The Wall’ Hodgson meant that the Bats dished out the drummings with ease.
Word is that new man James Gorely, as well as goalie Tim have sparked the interest of premiership teams but with growing hope among the club players, personnel and fans, the two have issued statements that they are “more than happy” where they are and intend to “help the Bats achieve premiership status and recognition”.
Fans are delighted with the stomping of Bandits – who many consider to be the Bats biggest competition. A victory over Flying Wedge next week will mean every opponent will have been beaten by the ever-improving Bats in the first half of the season and it would take some shocking appearances to leave the team without a hope of promotion.
The GaS strike partnership was in fine form again with four goals and three assists between them and defenders Duncan and James Hepburn also chipped-in with a pin-point finish and powerhouse effort respectively.
A major talking point from Monday’s games will be the performance of the referee who shockingly gave around 50 per cent of all decisions the wrong way. Speaking after the game, a spokesman for the Bat’s fan club, ranted at reporters while being bundled into the back of a police van. “What a fu**ing p*ss taker!”, he said. “That two bit motherless t**t counld’t get the decision right if his life depended on it! I might cut him!”
But the most astonishing revelation of the evening was that remarkably not one of the Bat’s players confronted the ref or swore at him (not so he could hear anyway) which keeps the side’s discipline down to a new club record of 0.
Talking exclusively to http://www.racingbats.blogspot.com/ new club captain Andy Hep – who came off the bench to make an immediate impact with a goal again - said: “You fight, you’re off. You give the ref backchat, you’re off. Simple as that.”
Speaking about his undefeated start as club talisman he added: “The team was in a bit of a state when I took over. No disrespect to The Cat but he was half the captain I am and the results are there to prove it.”
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---4------0-------1----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----2------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------4-------1------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------4-------3------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------4-------1------1-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------4-------7------5-----------0---------0--------------0
J. Gorely--------4-------5------5-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0-----3-----------4---------1-------------0
Wednesday, 7 October 2009
Week 1 - Autumn/Winter 09
11 Goals, 10 Assists, 2 Wins, 1 Cleansheet and for once not a card in sight as Bats swoop to two outstanding victories.
Racing Bats 6 Jonnies Slow Coaches 1
THE first signs of a winter chill hung in the air as a new-look Bats squad took to the field at the Wandle Stadium for their first game of the new season on Monday evening.
The game started slowly against Jonnies Slow Coaches and the Bats looked as disorganised as ever as it quickly transpired that the new opponents were not quite as slow as their name suggested.
But the Bats quickly settled and began putting together some swift passing movements that ended with new striker James Gorely netting an impressively-taken hat trick. His newly-formed partnership with Damo Stalley, who also walked away with two goals, blossomed and new captain Andy Hep even chimed in with a beautifully taken slotted effort just moments after coming off the bench.
Between the sticks now-veteran keeper Hodgson was unfortunate not to keep a clean sheet after his defence let him down and the opposition pounced on what was only one of a few opportunities for a consolation goal.
Racing Bats 5 Blue Mondays 0
The Bats took to the second game against Blue Mondays with enthusiasm and it wasn’t long before GaS (Gorely and Stalley) has taken another three goals between them (Gorely 1, Stalley 2).
And low and behold Ando ‘El Capitain’ Hepburn once again announced himself from the bench with another calmly-slotted effort.
But the goal of the night surely has to belong to Samsonite ‘Power’ McCartney whose thunderbolt of an effort – timed to be moving at around 0.000001mph – left the keeper and supporters dumbfounded as they watched it trickle over the line in slow motion – not quite possessing the pace to reach the back of the net.
Some solid defending from The Cat, Dima and Duncan – and as usual some unyielding goal tending from Hodge was enough to take Bats to an almost flawless start to the new season and leave them at the top of the table with fans singing “GaS lifts us up where we belong!”.
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---2------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----2------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------2-------0------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------2-------2------1-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------2-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley-------2-------4------4-----------0---------0--------------0
J. Gorely--------2-------4------3-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0-----2-----------2---------1-------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0--------------0
Racing Bats 6 Jonnies Slow Coaches 1
THE first signs of a winter chill hung in the air as a new-look Bats squad took to the field at the Wandle Stadium for their first game of the new season on Monday evening.
The game started slowly against Jonnies Slow Coaches and the Bats looked as disorganised as ever as it quickly transpired that the new opponents were not quite as slow as their name suggested.
But the Bats quickly settled and began putting together some swift passing movements that ended with new striker James Gorely netting an impressively-taken hat trick. His newly-formed partnership with Damo Stalley, who also walked away with two goals, blossomed and new captain Andy Hep even chimed in with a beautifully taken slotted effort just moments after coming off the bench.
Between the sticks now-veteran keeper Hodgson was unfortunate not to keep a clean sheet after his defence let him down and the opposition pounced on what was only one of a few opportunities for a consolation goal.
Racing Bats 5 Blue Mondays 0
The Bats took to the second game against Blue Mondays with enthusiasm and it wasn’t long before GaS (Gorely and Stalley) has taken another three goals between them (Gorely 1, Stalley 2).
And low and behold Ando ‘El Capitain’ Hepburn once again announced himself from the bench with another calmly-slotted effort.
But the goal of the night surely has to belong to Samsonite ‘Power’ McCartney whose thunderbolt of an effort – timed to be moving at around 0.000001mph – left the keeper and supporters dumbfounded as they watched it trickle over the line in slow motion – not quite possessing the pace to reach the back of the net.
Some solid defending from The Cat, Dima and Duncan – and as usual some unyielding goal tending from Hodge was enough to take Bats to an almost flawless start to the new season and leave them at the top of the table with fans singing “GaS lifts us up where we belong!”.
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---2------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----2------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------2-------0------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------2-------2------1-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------2-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley-------2-------4------4-----------0---------0--------------0
J. Gorely--------2-------4------3-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0-----2-----------2---------1-------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0--------------0
Monday, 5 October 2009
Pre-season - Autumn/Winter 09
A NEW-look Bats squad, welcoming exciting prospect James Gorely to the line-up, is set to step out at the Wandle Arena amidst much expectation.
The seasoned Bats, who will be looking to secure two early victories in their promotion bid, also welcome back long-term absentees Damo Stalley and Samsonite McCarthy to embark on the new season with a record 8 players.
Murmurs of excitement can be heard amongst fans who eagerly await the debut of GaS (Gorely and Stalley) - an exciting strikeforce which promises not to disappoint on the goalscoring front.
The captan's armband has been passed over to Andy Hep after Bats talisman James 'The Cat' Hepburn stepped down amidst rumours of corruption.
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---0------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----0------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------0-------0-------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------0-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------0-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------0------0------0-----------0---------0--------------0
J. Gorely--------0------0-------0-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
The seasoned Bats, who will be looking to secure two early victories in their promotion bid, also welcome back long-term absentees Damo Stalley and Samsonite McCarthy to embark on the new season with a record 8 players.
Murmurs of excitement can be heard amongst fans who eagerly await the debut of GaS (Gorely and Stalley) - an exciting strikeforce which promises not to disappoint on the goalscoring front.
The captan's armband has been passed over to Andy Hep after Bats talisman James 'The Cat' Hepburn stepped down amidst rumours of corruption.
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---0------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----0------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------0-------0-------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------0-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------0-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------0------0------0-----------0---------0--------------0
J. Gorely--------0------0-------0-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0--------------0
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