11 Goals, 10 Assists, 2 Wins, 1 Cleansheet and for once not a card in sight as Bats swoop to two outstanding victories.
Racing Bats 6 Jonnies Slow Coaches 1
THE first signs of a winter chill hung in the air as a new-look Bats squad took to the field at the Wandle Stadium for their first game of the new season on Monday evening.
The game started slowly against Jonnies Slow Coaches and the Bats looked as disorganised as ever as it quickly transpired that the new opponents were not quite as slow as their name suggested.
But the Bats quickly settled and began putting together some swift passing movements that ended with new striker James Gorely netting an impressively-taken hat trick. His newly-formed partnership with Damo Stalley, who also walked away with two goals, blossomed and new captain Andy Hep even chimed in with a beautifully taken slotted effort just moments after coming off the bench.
Between the sticks now-veteran keeper Hodgson was unfortunate not to keep a clean sheet after his defence let him down and the opposition pounced on what was only one of a few opportunities for a consolation goal.
Racing Bats 5 Blue Mondays 0
The Bats took to the second game against Blue Mondays with enthusiasm and it wasn’t long before GaS (Gorely and Stalley) has taken another three goals between them (Gorely 1, Stalley 2).
And low and behold Ando ‘El Capitain’ Hepburn once again announced himself from the bench with another calmly-slotted effort.
But the goal of the night surely has to belong to Samsonite ‘Power’ McCartney whose thunderbolt of an effort – timed to be moving at around 0.000001mph – left the keeper and supporters dumbfounded as they watched it trickle over the line in slow motion – not quite possessing the pace to reach the back of the net.
Some solid defending from The Cat, Dima and Duncan – and as usual some unyielding goal tending from Hodge was enough to take Bats to an almost flawless start to the new season and leave them at the top of the table with fans singing “GaS lifts us up where we belong!”.
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---2------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----2------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------2-------0------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------2-------2------1-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------2-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley-------2-------4------4-----------0---------0--------------0
J. Gorely--------2-------4------3-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0-----2-----------2---------1-------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0--------------0
Wednesday, 7 October 2009
Monday, 5 October 2009
Pre-season - Autumn/Winter 09
A NEW-look Bats squad, welcoming exciting prospect James Gorely to the line-up, is set to step out at the Wandle Arena amidst much expectation.
The seasoned Bats, who will be looking to secure two early victories in their promotion bid, also welcome back long-term absentees Damo Stalley and Samsonite McCarthy to embark on the new season with a record 8 players.
Murmurs of excitement can be heard amongst fans who eagerly await the debut of GaS (Gorely and Stalley) - an exciting strikeforce which promises not to disappoint on the goalscoring front.
The captan's armband has been passed over to Andy Hep after Bats talisman James 'The Cat' Hepburn stepped down amidst rumours of corruption.
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---0------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----0------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------0-------0-------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------0-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------0-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------0------0------0-----------0---------0--------------0
J. Gorely--------0------0-------0-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
The seasoned Bats, who will be looking to secure two early victories in their promotion bid, also welcome back long-term absentees Damo Stalley and Samsonite McCarthy to embark on the new season with a record 8 players.
Murmurs of excitement can be heard amongst fans who eagerly await the debut of GaS (Gorely and Stalley) - an exciting strikeforce which promises not to disappoint on the goalscoring front.
The captan's armband has been passed over to Andy Hep after Bats talisman James 'The Cat' Hepburn stepped down amidst rumours of corruption.
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---0------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----0------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
J.Hepburn------0-------0-------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------0-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------0-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------0------0------0-----------0---------0--------------0
J. Gorely--------0------0-------0-----------0--------0--------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0------0-----------0---------0-------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0--------------0
Thursday, 2 July 2009
Week 9 - End of Spring/Summer 09
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---16------10-------14----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----10------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------14-------7-------1----------2---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------10-------4-------0----------6---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------16-------3------3-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------16------18------5-----------0---------0-------------0
T. Hodgson------1-------1-------1-----------4---------1-------------0
D.Vorobtsova---16------10-------14----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----10------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------14-------7-------1----------2---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------10-------4-------0----------6---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------16-------3------3-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------16------18------5-----------0---------0-------------0
T. Hodgson------1-------1-------1-----------4---------1-------------0
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
Week 8 - Spring/Summer 09
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---14------10-------13----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----10------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------12-------7-------1----------2---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------8-------4-------0----------6---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------14-------2------3-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------14------16------5-----------0---------0-------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0-------1-----------2---------1-------------0
D.Vorobtsova---14------10-------13----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----10------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------12-------7-------1----------2---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------8-------4-------0----------6---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------14-------2------3-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------14------16------5-----------0---------0-------------0
T. Hodgson------0-------0-------1-----------2---------1-------------0
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
Week 4 Spring/Summer 09
A Pounce, a Ponce and a Prat
....just about somes up the Bats evening.
HOW the mighty have fallen! Bats everywhere will be extremely disappointed by last nights performance against the existing champions Neos.
The disappointment is not due to the result, this was bad enough and did not help. But really due to the teams attitude and ability to self destruct at the blow of a whistle. A whistle that was blown in their favour!!! The fans stood dumbstruck as Ando, instead of taking the quick kick for the foul committed, verbally lashed out at the referee and undid the first five minutes of near perfect, perhaps even genius playmaking.
The match was wrought with pressure from the constant tabloid and media build up but all signs of this were disregarded when the Bats took the field. Their usual swagger and domineering air of confidence was seen loud and proud. Those first five minutes we were treated to the ball moving effortlessly between the Bats players. It was the type of class we have come to expect and delight in but why is it that when it looks to good to be true it normally is with the Racing Bats. Those five minutes did not reward a goal but surely every second thereafter would have troubled Neos into making a mistake and then a goal mouth blunder would have surely followed. They were within touching distance of the game being remembered for total team football not often seen in the beautiful game.
Alas Ando’s verbal ref battering unnerved the obvious candidates and slowly but oh so very surely Dynamo Dimo and Dunc the Drunk lost their cool. Some will say they were never that cool in the first place but that argument is not for today. The referee was his usual predictable self and in his vain attempts to promote free flowing football he allowed the game and the tackling to spiral out of control. Once again a referee causes so much controversy in such a high pressured situation. Displaying characteristics of Tom Henning Ovrebo and his dire Chelsea vs Barca performance last week he cracked, and cracked some more, and then blatantly favoured Neos. It’s safe to say that not one of the Bats players stepped up to state they were fully behind Ando’s initial reaction and albeit Dunco’s and Dimo’s following reactions. Was it a lesson learnt from Drogba, Terry and Ovrebo? A lesson learnt maybe but we fear quickly forgotten.
The Racing Bats players and supporters were calling it an absolute disgrace. A disgrace it was but does the blame lie solely with the dire refereeing display? No it lies with the attitude and temperament of the Bats squad. They had the opportunity to knuckle down and grind out the performance of their lives and come away from the match as potential champions and deserved winners, but instead chose the opposite. To be fair to the Bats the Neo team tried everything to rile them, foul after foul after foul with no refereeing intervention was soon replied to and you guessed it by yet more fouls, but this time from the Bats.
STOP PRESS Ando ‘Hero’ Hep hits first hat trick.
The Neo’s match was an unfortunate turn of results as earlier on in the evening Ando quite sublimely hit his first Bats hat trick. His outfield holding and tangle footed slow motion style bewitched the opposition and the keeper was left flailing on those three exquisite occasions. The match ball would have been his but it’s actually Dimos so it is expected that they may arm wrestle for it later. Other than that some spectacular defending and strong timely tackling from Dunco with the odd leap of faith from the evening’s keeper The Cat would have led you to believe that it should have been a successful night in the Wandle Stadium! There are two ongoing injury concerns from the match; the first was rather serious and committed by the lad better known as the Brazilian from the Neos team as he tried to destroy Damos career! How many times can this part man, part machine return from a career threatening injury?! Once again he has reported back to light training until the results of a scan come through. And Samsonite’s dislocated knuckle is still a bit floppy.
The season goes on but can the Bats retain runner up spot for a consecutive season? Lets hope so as there commitment can not be doubted just their senses, words and tackle timing.
Crowd Chants:
Are you Ovrebo in Disguise..?
The Referees a Wank#r
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---8------2-------8----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----6------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------6-------1-------0----------2---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------2------3-------0----------6---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------8-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------8------9------1-----------0---------0-------------0
....just about somes up the Bats evening.
HOW the mighty have fallen! Bats everywhere will be extremely disappointed by last nights performance against the existing champions Neos.
The disappointment is not due to the result, this was bad enough and did not help. But really due to the teams attitude and ability to self destruct at the blow of a whistle. A whistle that was blown in their favour!!! The fans stood dumbstruck as Ando, instead of taking the quick kick for the foul committed, verbally lashed out at the referee and undid the first five minutes of near perfect, perhaps even genius playmaking.
The match was wrought with pressure from the constant tabloid and media build up but all signs of this were disregarded when the Bats took the field. Their usual swagger and domineering air of confidence was seen loud and proud. Those first five minutes we were treated to the ball moving effortlessly between the Bats players. It was the type of class we have come to expect and delight in but why is it that when it looks to good to be true it normally is with the Racing Bats. Those five minutes did not reward a goal but surely every second thereafter would have troubled Neos into making a mistake and then a goal mouth blunder would have surely followed. They were within touching distance of the game being remembered for total team football not often seen in the beautiful game.
Alas Ando’s verbal ref battering unnerved the obvious candidates and slowly but oh so very surely Dynamo Dimo and Dunc the Drunk lost their cool. Some will say they were never that cool in the first place but that argument is not for today. The referee was his usual predictable self and in his vain attempts to promote free flowing football he allowed the game and the tackling to spiral out of control. Once again a referee causes so much controversy in such a high pressured situation. Displaying characteristics of Tom Henning Ovrebo and his dire Chelsea vs Barca performance last week he cracked, and cracked some more, and then blatantly favoured Neos. It’s safe to say that not one of the Bats players stepped up to state they were fully behind Ando’s initial reaction and albeit Dunco’s and Dimo’s following reactions. Was it a lesson learnt from Drogba, Terry and Ovrebo? A lesson learnt maybe but we fear quickly forgotten.
The Racing Bats players and supporters were calling it an absolute disgrace. A disgrace it was but does the blame lie solely with the dire refereeing display? No it lies with the attitude and temperament of the Bats squad. They had the opportunity to knuckle down and grind out the performance of their lives and come away from the match as potential champions and deserved winners, but instead chose the opposite. To be fair to the Bats the Neo team tried everything to rile them, foul after foul after foul with no refereeing intervention was soon replied to and you guessed it by yet more fouls, but this time from the Bats.
STOP PRESS Ando ‘Hero’ Hep hits first hat trick.
The Neo’s match was an unfortunate turn of results as earlier on in the evening Ando quite sublimely hit his first Bats hat trick. His outfield holding and tangle footed slow motion style bewitched the opposition and the keeper was left flailing on those three exquisite occasions. The match ball would have been his but it’s actually Dimos so it is expected that they may arm wrestle for it later. Other than that some spectacular defending and strong timely tackling from Dunco with the odd leap of faith from the evening’s keeper The Cat would have led you to believe that it should have been a successful night in the Wandle Stadium! There are two ongoing injury concerns from the match; the first was rather serious and committed by the lad better known as the Brazilian from the Neos team as he tried to destroy Damos career! How many times can this part man, part machine return from a career threatening injury?! Once again he has reported back to light training until the results of a scan come through. And Samsonite’s dislocated knuckle is still a bit floppy.
The season goes on but can the Bats retain runner up spot for a consecutive season? Lets hope so as there commitment can not be doubted just their senses, words and tackle timing.
Crowd Chants:
Are you Ovrebo in Disguise..?
The Referees a Wank#r
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---8------2-------8----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----6------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------6-------1-------0----------2---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------2------3-------0----------6---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------8-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------8------9------1-----------0---------0-------------0
Friday, 8 May 2009
Week 3 - Spring/Summer 09
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---6------2-------5----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----4------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------6-------1-------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------0------0-------0----------6---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------6-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------6------9------1-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Vorobtsova---6------2-------5----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----4------1-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------6-------1-------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------0------0-------0----------6---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------6-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------6------9------1-----------0---------0-------------0
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
Week 2 - Spring/Summer 09
PLAYER------Apps---Goals---Assists---GK Apps---Clean sheet---Dis
D.Vorobtsova---4------1-------2----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----2------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------4-------1-------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------0------0-------0----------4---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------4-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------4------7------1-----------0---------0-------------0
D.Vorobtsova---4------1-------2----------0----------0------------0
S.McCartney----2------0-------0----------0----------0------------0
R.Felgate--------0------0------0-----------0---------0------------0
J.Hepburn------4-------1-------0----------0---------0-------------0
A.Hepburn------0------0-------0----------4---------0-------------0
D.Hepburn------4-------1------2-----------0---------0-------------0
D. Stalley--------4------7------1-----------0---------0-------------0
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